And Then There Were Four – The Birth of a Legend
I’m going to try really hard to do this all in order. I was totally in my own little world for SO MUCH of this whole event that I know I’m missing huge chunks of the night and I’m sure that lots happened that I don’t even realise, but this is just my story. The birth as I saw it.
At 12:30 on Friday morning, the twee little Tornado called for me from her room. I went in to lay down with her, but she was making me crazy. She wouldn’t settle down, she kept rubbing all my skin (as she always does…and it always makes me nuts) and just generally being fussy. We both finally fell asleep, where I proceeded to have terrible nightmares. Brutal. I don’t even want to talk about them because they freaked me out so badly. At about 2:30 I woke up, very quickly, and had to lay in the dark for a few moments, shaking it off and telling myself that they were just dreams.
I was feeling quite uncomfortable, so I quickly left The Tornado and crawled back into my own bed. And immediately started having contractions. OUCH! I had forgotten how painful they were! I had been reading a lot of really beautiful birth stories, so I had visions of a long, rolling labour where I rode contractions like waves for hours, walking and laughing with Husbandio in between.
Not bloody likely.
I had a few contractions, and decided to go grab my phone because I had no sense of time and couldn’t tell how far apart they were or how long they were lasting. I needed a timer. It turns out that they were about four minutes apart, lasting for a minute. Hmmm…sounds suspiciously like labour, I thought. But I decided to give it a few more rounds, just in case things settled down.
Again, not bloody likely.
At 3:30, I gave Husbandio the nudge and told him it was time to page the midwives. He did that while I texted the photographer, and we wrestled with whether or not it was time to wake up my mom. After the next contraction, I assured him that it was, indeed, that time. So we called her to come over so that she’d be ready to spring into action when The Tornado woke up. In the meantime, the midwives had called back, heard one of my contractions, and were rushing over. Things were picking up.
The midwives arrived at about 4:15. They checked my progress (about 6-7 cm dilated) and immediately started the IV because I was GBS positive and needed a round of antibiotics. Once that was done, everyone was madly rushing around, trying to get the bed made up and the tub filled because HELLO! It’s GO TIME!
At one point, my midwife needed another fitted sheet so I handed her one, and she was like, “No…this is a regular sheet…I need a fitted one.” Well, wasn’t she shocked when it WAS INDEED a fitted sheet. I’m not kidding, you guys, I’m like the Rain Man of sheet folding. It’s my SPECIAL SKILL.
So to catch you up – the house is in CHAOS. I’m in the living room, screaming through contractions, Husbandio is getting everything in order, with a SUPER LOUD air compressor filling up the tub, and people are EVERYWHERE. And The Tornado sleeps on. How is this possible?
With The Tornado, I had my epidural very early. I had no idea what labour felt like. You guys, IT FUCKING HURTS. I’ve never, in my life, screamed due to pain before. And here I was, SCREAMING. The midwives were wonderful, telling me to blow through the pain (it really did help) and to keep my screams low-pitched, because mine were getting quite high and hysterical sounding which apparently makes things worse. Ok. So I tried that, too. My poor mother tried to breathe with me at one point and I screamed at her to go away. After all the thought I put into a birth playlist, Husbandio asked me if I wanted the radio on and I roared, “NO!!!” Who knew? They kept asking me if I was feeling any pressure or if I thought I needed to push, and no, no, no…it just hurts.
Until all of a sudden, there was the pressure.
Shit. The tub still wasn’t filled. I thought I was dying. And somehow in all of this they wanted me to move myself from the living room to the bedroom? ARE THEY KIDDING?
Apparently not.
So off we went. Midwives and Husbandio all around me, getting me to the bedroom. I collapsed, face-down, ass-up onto the bed and stayed in that exact position. There was no moving. Just screaming and fear. Screaming and fear. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared. It hurt SO SO SO much. I must have had my eyes closed the whole time, because when I opened them, more people were there. Two other midwives had arrived so I quickly said hello and re-closed my eyes. I had no concept of what was going on. Sometime around now, The Tornado woke up and I remember ROARING at them to close my door as they rushed her past it so that she wouldn’t see me and think that I was in trouble. And then my water broke. POP! Just like that. OMG this is REAL. This is going to happen. SOON. OMGNONONOI’MNOTREADY! Then I heard the words that changed everything.
The tub is ready.
I wanted to cry. There was no way I’d be able to get into the tub. How? It hurt too much. I was too scared. NO NO NO. Enter the magical midwives to save the day. All hands on deck yet again, and somehow they managed to get me into the tub.
Magic.
The water was like a barrier that stopped all pain and fear. As more of me disappeared into the water, I could feel the terror lifting. Any part of me that was in the water KNEW that I could do this. We had this. Husbandio and the midwives (or maybe just Husbandio? I dunno…my eyes were still closed) were pouring water down my back and it was magical. The window was opened so I could get a bit of a breeze, and I could feel it. Everything was changing. I felt superhuman. And thank god because it was TIME. I took a deep breath and screamed again, but this time it wasn’t terror, it was determination. And when I reached down, there was the head. THE HEAD WAS OUT! OMG THE HEAD WAS OUT! So now it was time for another deep breath. As I inhaled, I must have risen a little bit because I IMMEDIATELY felt what seemed like 50 hands on my backside, pushing me down. The baby HAD to stay under the surface of the water. So I parted my legs and feet further, sank deeper into the water, and pushed again. I reached down as I pushed and there he was. My baby. I CAUGHT MY BABY! My baby my baby my baby…I pulled him out of the water, held him to my chest and just like that, it was over.
My baby.
And everything they say is true. NONE of the pain mattered anymore. None of the terror. None of it. Because I was a superhero. I DID THIS. Nothing I have ever done has ever affected me so deeply. Nothing could have prepared me for how I would feel when I caught my baby, in my bedroom, surrounded by my husband and some amazing women. This was the real deal.
We sat back and enjoyed the moment for a bit until the umbilical cord stopped pulsing, then Husbandio cut the cord and took the baby to go meet his sister and his Babcia while I got out of the tub (oh god don’t make me get out of the tub! can we buy the tub? PLEASE???) to deliver the placenta and get a couple of quick stitches.
While my amazing mother in law made me bacon and eggs, I sat in bed, nursing my baby, while all the midwives surrounded me, making sure I was doing ok and going over all the details of what a perfect birth it was. I wish I had a picture of that moment, because it was magical. It totally appealed to my love of my tribe and my inner hippie may have been doing some crazy dancing inside my head at this point. I thought my face would break in half from all the smiling.
Total labour – four hours. Total time pushing – two minutes. Yup. I’ll take it. It was magic. I roared out my baby in a bath tub, caught him, and still looked fabulous. THAT, kittens, is success.
I’ll spare you the details of the following week, which we spent in the hospital (DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT) because everyone is FINE and it’s all just a horrible memory. We’re home now. We came home on Friday and spent the day celebrating.
As Husbandio said right after Bob Marley made his appearance, “and then there were four.” Our family feels complete now. Our house just got happier. Our lives just got bester. Just like that.
I told Husbandio, over a glass of wine, that I feel more HUMAN again. He turned to me and said, “Technically LESS human. When you’re creating life, it’s the most human you can ever get.”
Hmmm…when did I marry such a smarty pants?
Sigh. I could hear it again and again!
I could DO it again and again. Because apparently I’m fucking crazy.
Awe, cute baby. You think birthing is painful? You ought to take one in the gonads! That’s pain! lol.
Hahahahaha!!! Call me when you take one in the gonads, every 2 minutes for several hours! Then we’ll talk pain.
ha, well, maybe you’re on to something there. Good stuff. I found your blog on that ihaveanopinion gal’s page. Are you Canadian too? I guess I always imagined Canadian women being a little tougher and that child birthing was as simple as taking a crap, just out of the “front butt” as my little girl used to call it.
Yup! It does make you feel like a Superhero, doesn’t it!? Congrats again! All the best to all 4 of you!!! XO
Thanks Gigi! But I should stop now, right? Quit while I’m ahead?
I loved reading that. Beautiful. Enjoy your family!
You are SO amazing!!!
I know, right???
Also….. MUSTACHE GLASSES PICTURE FOR THE WIN!!!!!
doesn’t it feel like bob marley has been around forever???could you now, just a few days later, picture your life without him??if this is not a miracle, I don’t know what is!
DEFINITELY! I can’t believe that he just started to exist!
Congratulations!! What a beautiful baby, mommy, family and story 🙂
Congrats!! Thank you very much for the story..I think if we have kids, I’m still gonna be at the hospital, with an epidural.
Beautiful family!!
That route works, too…I was there with my first!
I never knew anyone who gave a water birth. Now, I do! The way you described the deliver process seems magical! You are the REAL DEAL. Your story reads like a movie. Thank you for giving us a glimpse. Soooo proud of you mama!
GAH! THANK YOU! I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now.
Awesome story. In the true meaning of AWESOME!
YOU’RE awesome!!!
Tears and love! And also secret wishing that when I have a baby, it takes four hours. Or two minutes. You are a COMPLETE ROCKSTAR! Celebrate!
Four hours is a beautiful amount of time. Just have the tub ready in advance!
Awesome. More labour, less pushing is the way to go!
I don’t know…maybe because it was so quick, the pushing seemed to be a relief. The labour seemed long and terrifying! But all in all perfect.
OMG…I know exactly what you mean about the pain. And being scared and the water helping…and no pain right after and MAGIC. So satisfying. You can do anything now woman. xx
Thank you again SO SO SO much for sharing your experiences with me. You were a HUGE reason why I decided to do this.
What an awesome story! My sister just gave birth to her second son a few hours ago and while waiting for her birth story, I got to enjoy yours. Thanks for sharing and you keep on celebrating! You’ve definitely earned it. 🙂
Finally here we have the tale!
You sounded like you did it harder than what you thought and waiting for the damn tub to fill must have been just as agonising!
But Yay all done now and such a wonderful way of telling what you went through. Even though mine were some 29 years ago..I still vaguely remember the ‘ouchness’ so thanks for posting and drink, drink, drink and be merry 🙂 you deserve it!
AND MORE DRINK! WOOHOO!!!
I have an Award waiting for you if you wish to collect 🙂
This is so happy and wonderful. A well-earned Congratulations !! Even though giving birth is one of the things I fear THE most (Not planning on it yet!) I still love birth stories 🙂 Gorgeous post, gorgeous boy, gorgeous family xx
What a beautiful, beautiful (true) story Anita. Makes me cry. You are a talented woman.
Theresa
Thank you so much. I get all emotional every time I think of it. I wish every woman could feel that kind of empowerment at least once in their life.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Magical, indeed. Holy crap. This is beautiful in every way. And I’m not just talking about the champagne, I mean, ‘stache glasses.
I am speechless.
And so happy for you!!!!!!
Blah blah blah GIVE ME YOUR BLOG.
hahahaha…kidding! It was lovely to have you as part of that crazy experience!
TAKE IT! TAKE IT!!!
I can’t even tell you how amazing this is.
Seriously.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so, so happy for you!!! We don’t have the resources where I live to do a home, tub birth, but this would be my DREAM! Congrats and congrats and more congrats–nothing more beautiful than birthing those babies!!
Thank you so much! I’m THRILLED that it happened the way it did!
That was amazing. Thank you for sharing.
Pingback: November ‘Stache Glasses Giveaway Winner! | Go Jules Go
I think my inner hippie is doing a victory dance, too. Beautiful way to welcome a life into the world! Congrats 🙂
Let the hippies dance! I love it!
Thrilled to pieces for you and your family! You did it !!! Congratulations !!!! xo.
Thank you!!! It was AMAZING and we’re SO in love with Bob Marley!!!
Damn you, my Nitzer. Tears sprang to my eyes when I read the sentence ‘The tub is ready’, and I’m full scale sobbing now.
You have NO idea how much I adore you. And that fact that I’ve been witness to not only the magical faerietale of you and Husbandio (and also to the icky that was before him), but that I’ve been blessed enough to actually have met Tornado AND Bob just before they came into the world.
You got a lot of competition for the title of having the best life, because MY life includes YOU, which makes my life really, really fucking best.
Love, love, love, love this. There is nothing that rocks your world more than giving birth to your baby in your very own bedroom…YOU DID IT!!! I’ve had four home births…I totally hear you. After you do that, you feel like you can take on the world. Huge congrats!!
FOUR??? You’re a super hero!
What a fantastic birth story! I think your telling really captures the whole fire and passion that birth can inspire. Beautiful.
Thanks so much!
Just read your birth story over on Birth Without Fear, and it was incredible. I’m so glad you mentioned the screaming and the fear and the pain because, seriously, giving birth hurts. I mean, it’s all worth it, but it does not feel good. I wanted a water birth with my last baby (had the tub and everything) and he decided being born on the toilet was the way to go, so you know, almost a water birth, jut NOT the water we were planning. Great story! I enjoyed reading it!
Thanks so much!!! As much as we don’t like to picture it, I can TOTALLY see how being on the toilet would be comfortable during labour!
Pingback: Extreme Makeover: The Best Life Edition « The Best Life
Pingback: Why We Do What We Do | The Best Life
Damn girl that is scary. Sounds like the best day though.