Top Five Tuesday!

bora bora, champagne, tahiti

Why yes, I would LOVE another glass while I stare out at the most beautiful water ever seen, thanks so much!
(pic from

Top Five lists are often a hot topic in The Best Garage.  Most of the heated debates involve music, but in honor of my soon-to-be-wealth-as-soon-as-I-win-the-lottery, let’s spend today fantasizing about the top five best ways to spend a few million dollars.  And let it be noted that this is the “selfish” list.  Please assume that all family has been taken care of and charity money has been duly dispersed.

1. FULL BODY HAIR REMOVAL.  This is a no-brainer for me.  Whenever there is talk of lottery winnings, my first go-to thing is always full body hair removal.  If When I win the lottery, I will have a gorgeous mane of long, shiny hair, perfect eyebrows (thank you, Anastasia), perfect eyelashes (thank you, Niki) and not a single other hair on my body.

2. TRAVEL.  Another no-brainer.  What’s the point of having a deliciously smooth, hair-free body if you can’t show it off on all of the beaches that ever existed?  I need to go to Bora Bora and Fiji and Franca’s Islet and Spain and Brazil and Greece and back to Cuba and everywhere that water meets sand and serves champagne.  A perk with this choice is that when you are away, there is a limited amount of damage you can do to your winnings.  Get there and have drinking money, and be happy in the knowledge that you will probably not do any major spur-of-the-moment investing or property purchasing.  Just make sure there’s no Wi-Fi or anything crazy like that.  Disconnect.

3. VANITY SURGERY AND A PERSONAL TRAINER/CHEF.  This one is vital to enjoying the first two.  What’s the point in being all hairless on a fabulous beach if you are worried about saggy boobs and a floppy belly?  It’s not fun, but it’s necessary.  So sign me up for the most spectacular tits that have ever been built by humans, nip and tuck whatever needs to be nipped and tucked, and make me sweat.  Then feed me a little, keeping in mind that I’d prefer to reserve most of my calories for booze.  See?  I could never motivate myself enough for this, or keep track of my champagne calories without a scientific calculator, so it’s best to farm this shit out.

4. THE BEST COMPOUND.  YES!  Not just a house, more than a mansion, A COMPOUND!  Sprawling over however much land is needed, The Best Compound will be home to everything I could ever desire.  Fabulous spa facilities, amazing gym, and OMG I can’t WAIT to design the wine cellar and many bars that will be scattered throughout the grounds.  And the closets – OH THE CLOSETS!  They will be grand, but who are we kidding?  The bars will be the real attraction!  Each one with a different theme and catering to different whims.  All FULLY STOCKED with everything wonderful and delicious!  And the staff will be lovely and all of my loved ones will be welcome at all times.

5. LIBRARIES.  Both literary and musical.  I want complete collections of everything.  Every book I could ever read and every song I want to listen to.  I feel a little broken due to how little I’ve read lately and I neeeeeed to nurture my brain.  And the music, oh God the music!!!  Just let it play, forever and always!  Let my life always have a soundtrack.

I get giddy just imagining the glorious excess.  GIDDY!

What’s on your list?  And what would be your favorite selections in the library?