Tell the kids I love them…
I wasn’t going to write anything today because I’m trying to eeeaaaase back into blogging, and after all this time away I figured y’all would be like, “JEEZ! Calm your tits! TOO MUCH TOO SOON!” but our system has been down at work for two days and there is only so much time I can spend pretending to file and look busy so here I am.
Yesterday was the much anticipated start of Insanity. Day One. El Beginning-o (that’s Spanish…I’m very international). The Fit Test. You guys, I think that maybe I’ve bitten off a bit more than I can chew this time. I mean, I’m not in the worst shape of my life. I get it, I took three weeks off from working out and replaced it with competitive drinking, but come on! I’m in my mid (not quite late) 30s! I look pretty ok in a pair of jeans. I don’t do any street drugs. This shouldn’t be that hard, right?
The fit test was like 25 minutes. That’s all. 25 minutes. I should be able to do ANYTHING for 25 minutes. But if you’ve ever worked out with me you’ll know that I’m a weight-focused type girl. I’m nobody’s cardio bunny. I don’t run, I don’t do the stair master, I’ll elliptical under pressure but I’d really rather be picking things up and putting them down. Well Insanity is 60 days of please-kill-me-now, I-can’t-fucking-do-this, is-this-even-for-real cardio. The fit test is the easiest, shortest of the workouts. I finished it and was fairly certain that it finished me right back. I was done. Dead. Husbandio would eventually come into the garage and find me, cold and blue, in a puddle of sweat, tears, and vomit.
Somehow, I managed to pick myself up, guzzle some water, and then pour a vodka soda so I could sit and have a solid think about what I was getting myself into. And do you know what I decided? That I was crazy. Because I was going to do this all over again, for TWICE AS LONG, the next day. And the day after that, and the day after that, and every day until the first month was finished. AND THEN I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT HARDER IN THE SECOND MONTH! See what I mean? Crazy. But friends, this body doesn’t just happen.
Help me out, gentle readers! How do you manage to look as amazing as you do? What is your secret? And what is your favorite breakfast?