Tell the kids I love them…
Thank goodness I found this infographic today, because quitting was TOTALLY MY PLAN (photo credit is watermarked on the picture)
I wasn’t going to write anything today because I’m trying to eeeaaaase back into blogging, and after all this time away I figured y’all would be like, “JEEZ! Calm your tits! TOO MUCH TOO SOON!” but our system has been down at work for two days and there is only so much time I can spend pretending to file and look busy so here I am.
Yesterday was the much anticipated start of Insanity. Day One. El Beginning-o (that’s Spanish…I’m very international). The Fit Test. You guys, I think that maybe I’ve bitten off a bit more than I can chew this time. I mean, I’m not in the worst shape of my life. I get it, I took three weeks off from working out and replaced it with competitive drinking, but come on! I’m in my mid (not quite late) 30s! I look pretty ok in a pair of jeans. I don’t do any street drugs. This shouldn’t be that hard, right?
WRONG.
The fit test was like 25 minutes. That’s all. 25 minutes. I should be able to do ANYTHING for 25 minutes. But if you’ve ever worked out with me you’ll know that I’m a weight-focused type girl. I’m nobody’s cardio bunny. I don’t run, I don’t do the stair master, I’ll elliptical under pressure but I’d really rather be picking things up and putting them down. Well Insanity is 60 days of please-kill-me-now, I-can’t-fucking-do-this, is-this-even-for-real cardio. The fit test is the easiest, shortest of the workouts. I finished it and was fairly certain that it finished me right back. I was done. Dead. Husbandio would eventually come into the garage and find me, cold and blue, in a puddle of sweat, tears, and vomit.
Somehow, I managed to pick myself up, guzzle some water, and then pour a vodka soda so I could sit and have a solid think about what I was getting myself into. And do you know what I decided? That I was crazy. Because I was going to do this all over again, for TWICE AS LONG, the next day. And the day after that, and the day after that, and every day until the first month was finished. AND THEN I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT HARDER IN THE SECOND MONTH! See what I mean? Crazy. But friends, this body doesn’t just happen.
Help me out, gentle readers! How do you manage to look as amazing as you do? What is your secret? And what is your favorite breakfast?
I usually start the day with some surfing and a cup of coffee. Web surfing of course, but it sounds exercise-y.
Then I pretty much make myself feel like shit about pretty much whatever I eat, because I’ve been trained to hate my body my whole life.
Do you think I would fail Insanity? Should I try something less suicidal?
I love love love your body. Specifically your ass. And your titties. And your face. And all of it.
I don’t recommend Insanity to ANYONE because I hate it. But hopefully I will hate it less in 60 days. Watch this space.
Your program sounds better. Coffee and surfing sounds right up my alley.
I started the 30 day squat challenge at the beginning of this month and please help my poor, sore thighs. I mean, seriously. Help.
OOOOO!!! Good for you! I started the 30 day squat challenge and got about half way through it before my knees decided that it was time for me to fucking stop.
Hahaha! I asked Hubs last night, “Is it weird that my knees and hips pop when I do squats??” Sigh! It may be the death of me, but I will completel the 30 days challenge!
Keep me posted!
HOw many squats do i have to do for this challenge? I’m a numbers person.
Check out http://30dayfitnesschallenges.com/30-day-squat-challenge/
Somewhere on that page will be a chart/calendar telling you how many squats to do every day.
I teach PiYo at my gym. Getting paid to show up is a pretty nice motivator, lol! I also do workouts at home, but nothing quite as crazy as Insanity 😉
Favorite breakfast is…. Hmmmm, I don’t really know? Probably eggs and peppers with salsa… although if we’re being completely honest, my fave would be pancakes with lots of syrup 😛
GAH! How fantastic! I would love to get paid to work out.
Oh my goodness you are WAY too funny. I’m not sure why you feel the need to kill yourself before we have our well-over-due drink fest, but I know you can do it. And you’ll do it EPICALLY ’cause that’s just how you roll baby-cakes! I miss you, stay classy….and insane xoxox
I miss you, too! We need to hook up soon, my beautiful friend!
I could NOT agree more!! OMG yes please please please !