Listen…can you hear that?
Yup. NO KIDS. Thing One is at daycare, Thing Two is sleeping, I’m in Mommy Heaven. It’s like regular heaven but with more coffee and yoga pants.
It has been a loooooooooong week here. Part-time daycare is HARD. I know that people all throughout the world, from the beginning of time, have had two or more kids, but sorry. I don’t get it. I don’t know how people do it. It’s HARD. Maybe it gets easier – I can’t say because I don’t know, but now? HARD. Maybe it’s easier for parents who aren’t the proud owners of The Tornado, but I don’t fall into that category and it’s HARD.
But leave it to Husbandio to put things into perspective.
Me (whining about my day): I know it’s awful to say, but part-time daycare is ruining my mat leave.
Husbandio: What’s ruining your mat leave? Having kids?
Apparently I’m not cut out for stay-at-home momming. Fine. I’m good at other stuff.
But now it’s morning, and the only sounds are Breakfast Television in the background and the clickety clack of the keyboard. Bliss. I was going to buckle down and do my workout now, but nope. I’m taking an hour to just enjoy this. I’m loading up on coffee and there will be ALL KINDS of productivity today, but for now, SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
Have you guys been watching the news today? A huge meteorite hit the Urals in Russia and all kinds of people are injured, and now a GIANT asteroid is supposed to pass by Earth, closer than our satellites, at around 2:30 this afternoon! They’re saying it’s no big deal, but JUST IN CASE, I think I’m gonna have a cupcake. Because NO ONE’S last meal should be cottage cheese and tuna.
WAIT! Before I forget, I need to commemorate SOMEWHERE how much I LOVE the Kraft Habanero Heat commercial. The guy that plays the devil should get an Oscar. Or whatever the commercial equivalent is. The first “NO!” KILLS me. Every. Time. Just ask Husbandio. I am incapable of containing my squeals of joy when this commercial comes on. As I’m incapable of disguising my utter DISGUST at the Lean Cuisine commercial.
Oooooooooo…I just went on a brief hunt for the Lean Cuisine commercial to show y’all, but I couldn’t find it. It’s all for the best. It fills me with too much rage to watch in the morning. Long story short: I’m BOYCOTTING all things Lean Cuisine-related.
Tomorrow we kick off Anita Week. We’re starting it with a FABULOUS trip to the Bell store to say bye bye iPhone and HELLOOOOOO Blackberry Z10. Down with bullshot motherducking autocorrect and up with fabulous predictive text and amazing cameras!
What are you doing this weekend? Are you ready for Anita Week Festivities?