Let Me Be Your Cautionary Tale

I know that the proper thing to do here would be to string you along for a while and really make you WORK for this advice, but I’m not a bitch (as long as you don’t ask anyone) so let me just lay it out for y’all right at the start.

Some things are better left to the professionals.

Today is hopefully going to be a VERY exciting day.  I’m seeing the midwife at 11:30, and then I’m hitting the nature trail by our house to hike for as close to two hours as I can stand, and then I’m going to come home and do deep squats until this baby just POPS OUT.  For REALS.  If my body is AT ALL ready to go into labour, I’m going to make SURE that I do everything I can to get it there.

So, you see, I’m trying to be ready.  Prepared.  Get all my ducks in a row.  I have a quick energy snack ready.  I have not one but TWO iPods charging to make sure I’m properly motivated to keep walking.  And my inner hippie has SOME limits, so I did some grooming.

Some personal grooming.


Can you guess how well it went?
(picture from sodahead.com)

Let me give you some sage advice, kittens.  If you can’t see it, have someone ELSE do the honours.  And if that isn’t an option, then for the LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY, do NOT use a brand spankin’ new razor.

I’m pretty sure I gave myself an episiotomy.  Again – if you don’t already know what that is, a google image search will make you cry.  DON’T DO IT.

But all major self-inflicted plastic surgery aside, today is a good day.  The Tornado slept through the whole night last night for the first time in a couple of weeks, and holy CRAP did I ever need that.  Playing musical beds all night isn’t my idea of fun any more.  Mama needs to rest.

As much as I love EACH and EVERY ONE of you, I really really really hope to be too busy to write here for the next couple of days.  Just remember – if you really wanna know, then TWEET IT.

Meanwhile, please tell me what you’re listening to and what your top 3 motivational or whatever songs are.  MUSIC ME!