The Haves and the Have Nots

Alright kittens, today is full of bloating and monstrous headaches, so I bring you a different kind of list.  A list of Haves and Have Nots.  They are ALL things that I am grateful for, however some of the things I’m grateful to have now, and the other things I will be grateful for when my uterus is tenant-free.

Haves:

  • Husbandio, who completely understands that sometimes I come into the kitchen crying my eyes out for no reason and doesn’t make me explain anything and agrees that it’s the perfect time for a glass of wine.
  • The Toddler Tornado, who is just SO PRETTY that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to feel badly about myself.  I mean, I MUST be beautiful if I grew something so completely and utterly perfect.
  • elephant costume

    Also, she’s gonna be an elephant for Halloween.

Have Nots. Or I guess I should call this list the Have Soons:

  • My amazing body, which will bounce back almost MIRACULOUSLY from carrying it’s second child.  By Christmas, I’ll be down to pre-Bob Marley weight.  By Anitauary, I’ll be down to pre-Tornado weight.  By summer, I’ll be unstoppable.  Fitness will wish it was as fit as me.  You, yes YOU, will want my ass.
  • ALL THE DRINKS.  Yes, I will be breastfeeding Bob Marley for as long as works for us.  Hopefully around the two-year mark.  But guess what…I can still have a glass or two of wine at night.  And on occasional, well-planned nights out, I WILL get falling-down drunk and have hot, giggly, intoxicated lovin’ with Husbandio.  Because we CAN.
  • Hair.  This one is happening soon!  I have made an appointment for October 30th to get my hair cut and coloured to it’s AMAZING Florence + the Machine/Kat von D redness, and it will make ALL THE DIFFERENCE in how I feel.

Seriously, guys, we’re totally at that time in pregnancy where we look back on the good times and realize that we’re looking WAAAAAY back.  Now pregnancy is more like this and this and some days that’s REALLY hard to come to terms with.  But what can I do, right?  Suck it up, stop looking in the mirror, and remember it’s for a good cause.

And have some champagne chilling.

Advertisements