Wanna Play?
This only LOOKS innocent and fun
(photo from thekiduniverse.com)
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw
Kittens, scary times are upon us. Brace yourselves…this one is a real humdinger.
I’ve spent all of The Toddler Tornado’s short life trying to do things properly. Trying is the key word here, people. Somehow, hot dogs and TV (damn you, Dora!) slip into the equation much more often than I’d care to admit, and I unabashedly brandish chips and gummy candies as bribery tools motivation to listen to mommy.
The past couple of weeks have brought a cold, shameful fact to the surface. We have no “parent” friends. No one that we hang out with has kids Zofia’s age (or kids at all, really!) and we’ve been relying pretty exclusively on her time at daycare to provide all her socialization needs.
Not cool, kittens, not cool.
All this cuteness, and no one to appreciate it!
Well it’s time to branch out. Apparently, as a certain alcoholic bear has pointed out, it’s time to hang up the I’m-too-cool-for-this-playground hat and start the daunting process of buddying up with the other stunned looking parents around us.
I have a great starting point. There are two moms that seem funny and sarcastic and, dare I say it, even witty that I’ve got my eyes on. We’ve done the name exchange. Our kids, while not EXACTLY the same age, are close enough to play well together. So now I just need to dazzle them with my charm and break into their tight-knit little circle.
But you guys, how does that HAPPEN these days? I mean, this stuff used to be easy!
Back in the day, all you needed was BOOZE!
Is this still ok? Do I just pull out a flask and toast our new-found friendship? Do I get them to meet me behind the bleachers for a smoke and then go get tattoos? How do you make friends around (and FOR) your children?
I’m lost here. Completely out of my element. I’ve never made cupcakes that looked like cartoon characters. I’ve never hosted any event of which the police force would approve. I don’t throw “coochie coo”s into my regular conversation. I feel like a complete momtard.
Watch this space, kittens, for the unfolding saga of The Momtard’s version of How to Make Friends and Influence People, or at the very least, How to Not Turn Your Child into the Playground Pariah.
I am now even sadder that we are not neighbours. Not that I have a kid the same age as Zofia, but Bob Marley and Baby H would be fast friends fo sho. 😦 All my friends with kids live far far away… fortunately J’s friends seem to make a living at breeding and several of them have munchkins under a year or currently in the womb. I guess I just have to try harder to make them my friends too. Is it sad that I hate making new friends? Kinda. It’s fine once you’re in, but getting in always gives me anxiety.
Our babies would entertain themselves for HOURS while we fell into several bottles of wine and laughed and pretended to bake muffins!
I hate this part, too. It’s so awkward and needy-feeling!
I wish I had some answers here. Vodka in a mommy sippy cup would win me over instantly though!
Me too! And they have wine juice boxes! Maybe this won’t be so hard after all…
LOL! Good luck to you! Perhaps there are some mommy and me groups that meet in your neighbourhood?
Oh and you are so darn wonderful…I doubt you’ll have to bribe anyone!
You’re too kind…I love it!
I’ll definitely be on the lookout for some groups. I can’t be the only preggo in Waterdown!
Haha I enjoyed this one…
Thanks! Now will you please come to the park with us? I’ll bring the refreshments.
I have absolutely no advice. (empty womb) I just wanted to say that that purple thing looks AMAZING and I want to get drunk and put on my mittens and toque and go play on it!
I could keep the F bombs to a minimum if Zofia wanted to join me.
That’s very generous of you. It’s a date!
That purple thing DOES look amazing! The park by our house is slightly less stellar, but still pretty awesome as far as parks go…
Oh jeez, I love your spunk so much! If and when I become a mother, I have no doubt that a “flask offering” would do the trick to break the ice with new friends 😛 And “Momtard” — too cute! Zofia is lucky to have you. 🙂
Thank you!!! It looks like I’ll have to start traveling with a mini-cooler…
Making friends as an adult is the worst. After college I was so depressed and lonely in NYC that I resorted to grad school! (This is a very expensive approach to making friends.)
Grad school would be all kinds if fabulous, but it’s way out of the budget at the moment. Wine juice boxes it is, then!!!