Full Disclosure: The Facial Hair Edition

Alright kittens, it’s confession time.  I have an imperfection.

No I SWEAR!  It’s TRUE!  But thank you for your disbelief.

I have a crippling fear of facial hair.  Not on others, mind you.  Husbandio has a delightful dusting of fur on his chinny chin chin and it doesn’t scare me in the slightest.  My fear revolves around my own face.

I’m from the Eastern Block.  Genetically, I’m destined for a fluffy upper lip.  True story.

hairy woman

My grandmother.
Ok…probably not. But you can’t know for sure.
(picture from beforeitsnews.com

woman with mustache

Long lost cousin.
Again..can you REALLY be sure???
(picture from louisvillestrangebrew.com)

I know.  ACK, right?

Needless to say, this isn’t a future that I look forward to.  In fact, if when I win the lottery, one of the first things that will happen will be laser hair removal of everything that isn’t proper head hair, eyelashes or eyebrows.  I don’t like fur anywhere else.

hairy armpits

No thanks. And fear not…I’m sparing you from photos of all the OTHER places I don’t want hair. This is NOT that kind of blog.
(photo from swimclub.co.uk)

BUT, kittens, you’ll be ECSTATIC to know that there is an exception to my facialhairophobia.  And it’s brought to you by the stunning, brilliant mind behind one of my most favoritest blogs ever.

MY GLASSES ARRIVED YESTERDAY!!!!!!

I took a picture right away, but unfortunately I was in my messy garage and my hair did NOT look perfect and I think highly of you all and I won’t subject you to that first thing in the morning.

Luckily, Husbandio had made a phallic sculpture out of the fruit he was going to take to work in the morning, and he decided that it, too, needed a certain something.

hairy fruit

THIS is why I married him. You’re welcome.

So go forth, lovely kittens, and enjoy the rest of your day with the knowledge that the mustache glasses photos are coming.  No phobia will stand in the way of this amazingness, with the obvious exception of my I-don’t-look-perfect-in-this-photo-ophobia.

Advertisements