Intimacy: Too much too soon?
I swear I’m not a prude. Truly. I’m probably the OPPOSITE of a prude. An unprude! Non-prudular! Inhibitus non havus. But last night, I was faced with a suggestion that made me, well, a little uncomfortable.
Husbandio wanted us to floss together.
I was on my way into the bathroom and he asked if I was going to floss. “Of course,” I chirped, “If you floss ’em, they’ll be awesome!” That’s when he suggested we do it together.
Am I alone here? Is that not WEIRD? I mean, FLOSSING, you guys! FLOSSING.
We’re just not that couple. We pee with the door closed. We both know that girls don’t poop, so that’s not even an issue. When we shower together, whoever is brushing their teeth usually turns their back to the other person. Our bathroom stuff is private.
And yet, here he is. Suggesting that we floss side by side. Casually. Like it ain’t no thing. WELL, my face must have betrayed my inner turmoil because he managed to just laugh at me and go into the bedroom to wait for his turn in the bathroom. As he should.
After giving it
way too much some thought, I’ve discovered that it’s the bathroomness of it that skeeves me out. I mean, if he had suggested some bizzaro sex act that involved floss, I would have been all over that suggestion! BRING IT ON, DADDY-O! But actual flossing seems too personal.
Seriously, internet friends…do you want the person that you love and adore above all others to see bits of chicken wing come flicking out from between your teeth? Do we NEED that kind of intimacy?